The enemy within

 This happened to me one day.

 I was standing at the station waiting to get a ride home from town. Then a kombi pulled over and the conductor said let's go. I asked how much? ,he said 50c,and i got in.

Along the way,he asked for the fair,and i handed over the 50c. ,Whilest receiving the money,he exclaimed "kombi is $1 my friend,bring the other 50c".

But you said 50c!,,I asked back. Then he said "don't you know that it's $1 to go where you are going?".

At that moment i paused,and started thinking to myself,he was actually right, that was the correct fare. But then i really didn't have the other 50c,that's the reason why i had asked for the price before boarding,, so that i could tell him that i have 50c and beg him to let me in.

I looked back at him,and i replied,"you said 50c!". I really didn't feel like begging him and i was actually beginning to get frustrated because i felt like he was trying to make a fool out of me. Then the other passengers started whispering  that i should  just pay up to avoid noise,,and that got me even more angrier,i knew they all had heard the guy say 50c,,but i really didn't understand why they decided  to attack me instead.

I had my own way of avoiding the noise,and that was to shut up till i got to my bustop. As i was getting off,one of the passengers patted me on my back and said,"you did right my boy,i heard him say 50c before you got in".

As i watched the combi move off, I was like,"wow,did  i just manage to stand my ground against a whole kombi? ". But that wasn't true. What really happened is that its my mind that had actually managed to stand with me.

In life,there's actually a huge gap between you,and what you call reality,and within that gap,that's where your mind exists. That means it's actually disconnected from either side, all the thoughts it generates are 100% from within it. It's easy to think that i didn't pay because i didn't have the money/the conductor lied ,,but the actual reason why i didn't pay is because "i thought" i wasn't supposed to pay.

Those reasons might seem to have had contributed to the thought, but remember,the conductor and the passengers actually gave an equal number of reasons to pay up,but i literally ignored them all. 

The primary function of your mind is to create i.e (to make from nothing),a lot of people don't know that,they think the mind is reactive,as in it requires a reason to act. An example of something that is reactive is a metal plate,if you hit it with a wooden  spoon,it makes a noise,that's a reaction. But your mind doesn't work like that,every decision it makes is always a 100% conscious choice ,It's up to it to either make a noise or not.

The size of the reasons doesn't really matter,the passenger who patted me at the end didn't even know all the reasons why i refused to pay,he only supported me for just one reason.

We are so afraid to confront our mind,we rather  chose to blame reasons for the decision it makes. But the real culprit is your mind,whatever reasons you have for whatever you are doing right now,,it's because you chose them.